Dr. Righteous has been more than patient.

Over the years, she has acquired some Facebook friends who are not, of course, really friends. They are friends of friends, or old classmates, or simply people (suggested by Facebook’s deeply weird algorithms) who share a common interest. All told, the good doctor has about 200 “friends,” of whom she probably actually knows less than 50.

And now it is time for some serious housekeeping. Some of these people simply must go. So Doc R today began a rigorous pruning of some of the farthest-out fringe-dwellers on her Friends list.

First to go was the birther who today posted what was, for Doc R, the last straw: A photoshopped pic of President Obama resigning from office, with a really offensive tag-line to the effect that he did not deserve the job. So, off with her head!

Next was the tea-bagger who seems to believe not only that his government is hiding evidence of visitors from outer space (including, perhaps, himself? One wonders.) but also that feminist lawyers support pedophilia via the pornulating of young girls for commercial purposes. What the fuck?

Next is the pet-person who was arrested recently for hoarding animals. Doc of course understands and sympathizes with mental illnesses like this: It’s the continued cheery “collecting”–a truly unfortunate choice of words if ever there was one–of virtual animals for her virtual Facebook zoo in all this benighted person’s Updates that turns Doc R.’s stomach. Off with her head!

Facebook is supposed to be a social network, after all, not a soapbox for the most bizarre and offensive political stances that people can conjure up in the wee, sleepless hours.

Doc, not normally a patient woman under the best of circumstances, has far exceeded her limit. No more tea-baggers. No more birthers. No more of those sickening Sept. 11th conspiracy theories. You post one of those, your ass is out! Anti-Semitic? You’re history! Hate women? People of color? Gays, lesbians, bisexuals, queer, or questioning folk? transgendered or intersex persons? Buh-bye!

She expects to be down to two dozen people by the end of the week.


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